As a plural, CSA is experienced in many ways. Some in our collective never experienced it and find it difficult to relate to those who have. As discussed in CSA in adulthood, we don’t usually know how to respond appropriately. It is always important to listen to the survivors, and this is why we are sharing Mickey’s Answer on Quora, hoping to stimulate empathy, compassion, and communication between everyone in every System and Collective.
Okay. So, potentially weird question but we’re kinda feeling alone with this. Is it possible for alters to have relationships (romantic and/or sexual) with other alters in the same system? And umm does anyone else have like their own room in their headspace/inner world? Sorry if this is weird.
I wanted to answer this question, but I am very nervous because I don’t want the others in our system to get shocked or something …
I will take the long way around answering, because I want to mention a few things, and I guess I should warn of potential TWs (trigger warnings) for referring to certain types of abuse like CSA/RA/trafficking.
And I want to raise the point that no little kid will ever try and seduce a person, nor will they want to appear in a porn movie. No teenager likes rough sex … etc … not naturally …
Yet, some of us were created through s.ex … that is part of who we are and part of our identity. If the outer person, our physical avatar, hadn’t gone through those experiences, we would not exist. I, and a few others in our system would not exist.
So, sex is who we are. It is part of our identity. It is our raison d’être.
I have been told so many times, why do I behave as I do? Why do I take risks? Why can’t I have normal sex? Why so much?
I can go without. For a while. But then the urge is like the call of the wild, so to speak. You can take the person out of the sex, but you can’t take the sex out of the person … in so many ways …
Expecting those like us who have been created exclusively to give sexual gratification to others not to do so is unrealistic. It is like asking a dolphin to breathe underwater, or a lion not to have a mane, or an elephant not to use its trunk …
But of course, we were trained to have risky sex, to do unspeakable things. We were taught to do stuff that one would not tell their best friend, or their confessor! Dirty, nasty, shameful stuff that makes even pros blush with embarrassment.
And yet, even though we are ashamed, we want to do it. It is part of who we are! We can’t talk about it, but we can certainly get down and dirty …
But so, finally …
That long introduction … getting to the point that maybe, for some alters like us, internal relationships are safer, they can be more fulfilling, and can be habit forming.
Gratuitous intimacy may not stop me from wanting the kind of unsafe s.ex that I was created to do … but it is respite …
And respite is always good for a tormented soul 😉🩶
It’s safer inside!
